Oh God Genocide

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So you know how it’s been a while since we talked about the Rwandan genocide? And although we touched on the Holocaust, we didn’t really delve into the overarching concept of organized mass murder?

It’s kind of a hard one to discuss because if you’ve ever had depression, you might have encountered the delicate dance that is feeling really really sad that some people have died in large numbers, and feeling really really angry that other populations haven’t, for a different set of reasons. To which it’s important not to forget that humans are gross.

Now some people might think “No wait, I really find all mass murder sad. In fact, I am sad about everyone dying all the time always.” Well you might be displacing a desire to end the human race, and other species for that matter, but hey, you might just be honestly grieving the concept of mortality.

Then there’s other people who are more like “Fuck that pussy shit. Everything and everyone dies, so why make a big deal out of it? Genocide is just bigger death, and you can’t cry about that all the time or you’d have no moments left to live your life.” And so you might be repressing the fact that you do notice the increased gravity of certain situations and you might be trying to discount them rather than conform to some third parties’ views on how they should be weighted.

Regardless of whether these or other archetypes summarize your feelings on genocide, the important thing is knowing that achieving some clarity on your personal values is useful, even if this is controversial or possibly antagonistic. When you are dealing with symptoms of depression, you might need to grieve large abstract violent concepts in your own unique way, because how you process negative information might be different from those around you or might not fall in line with typical expectations.

So you can have your own unique reaction to genocide, and this remains true even if it marks you as different. Having symptoms of depression means that you might not see the world the same way as people with less familiarity with the condition, or at least your particular version of it. And it’s hard sometimes to have more than one set of feelings, including when reacting to other people. While it helps to get clarity on your viewpoint, the ambiguity of believing multiple value sets simultaneously is also a quality worth preserving.

*Mind-Controlled*

An Empty Life

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So you know how sometimes people die in horrifying ways? And this can come to overshadow the achievements and daily experiences of their lives?

Yeah the good news is that everything and everyone dies so this is a great equalizer in terms of everyone having an empty purposeless life. Why is that a good thing? Well so you don’t get jealous of all those special people of course!

And yet if we look at history as a linear narrative compiled from accounts around the world, we are faced with the fact that some people’s lives contribute to the advancement of society, and so not everyone’s life is equally purposeless. These movers and shakers can have an impact based on how they live their life, but also based on how they die and the causes they champion until their final moments.

This is a little scary because it means other people have to be traumatized by their martyrdom or by their punishment at the hands of another party. Sometimes an individual may be known as a special advocate like Mahatma Gandhi, and sometimes they are a member of a notable population, like the victims of Auschwitz. The common thread being that society remembers them in part because of the circumstances of their death.

And yet in these instances, it is important to dramatize history with regard to the ways that these people lived their lives. There is a message to be shared in not only the extraordinary communications of pivotal world leaders, but also in the common daily activities of special populations.

So you can see a person as more than their final moments, and remember to celebrate their life as well as their death. When it comes to seeing some lives as more worthwhile or well-lived, that’s a unique personal opinion even as, arguably, all lives are rendered empty and purposeless by the inevitable void.

*Mind-Controlled*

Unhappy Endings

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So you know how there are all these people throughout history who died poor, hungry, and penniless? Or they were assassinated? Or maybe killed by some authority? Not to mention all the diseases that wipe out swathes of humanity. And if you survive all that, your body slowly wears down until you can no longer function.

This all the begs the question… Is there really a good way to go? As humans a large amount of our efforts are spent on prolonging our life, and potentially having a more comfortable conclusion, but never forget the honest truth that death is always awful.

But wait you say! Death with Dignity! You heard it’s real in Oregon. You can’t beat successfully convincing people that it’s in everyone’s best interest for you to be able to die. And that’s just contemporary legal suicide. Throughout time and history people have found means of ending their life in a way that they decided.

Still, you’ve got to wonder if you’re looking a little too aggressively for the certainty of knowing how you’re going to go, rather than focusing on all the stuff that’s going on while you’re alive. Depression causes the mind to focus on certain topics, including those relating to death, and yet if you alleviate your symptoms of depression, you’ll find that your mind naturally occupies its time with other thoughts and stays focused on being alive.

Basically, it’s not supposed to be a struggle. Your mind naturally processes trauma and pain allowing you to consider your daily life. And instead of feeling comparative about your life or death in relation to other people, you remember that “everyone is a loser” and “everything and everyone dies.”

So you can spend your time being scared of death and how you’ll go, because that probably provides some critical thinking powers. And then you can resolve your symptoms of depression to the point where death is just a passing thought, and life is about all of the living stuff.

*Mind-Controlled*

Striving for Zen

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So you know Zen right? It’s a deep concept from Buddhism, or more like a subsection of the religion, an entire philosophy and lifestyle. But this isn’t about Zen. This is about the weird stuff that you think is Zen when you’re depressed.

You know like there is no winning or losing and you should always be seeking to strive for a balanced outcome, but that balance almost always means you agreeing to something dreary.

And grey is the best color because it’s between black and white so you should make it your guiding philosophy to “be the grey.” Find that middle ground and embody it. Regardless of whether your selected self-representation is preferable by your or anyone else’s standards.

Or maybe it’s that meditation is the thing to do and you should be capable of escaping the negative thoughts that fill your mind through spending time doing nothing but sitting and breathing.

And you should go leave all your possessions and live a life of austere simplicity, and rely on just the basics for survival. Learn how to live off the earth and all that. (Although probably do not eat unfamiliar mushrooms if you do.)

So is any of this Zen? Tangentially, in some form, it might be related. Yet you may have had some thoughts akin to these or other philosophical concepts that seem deep, but are somehow not quite helpful. Whether the original principles will really be helpful to you is important to consider, but yet another level of analysis is whether the derivatives of these thoughts are understood well enough or whether a partial comprehension is detrimental to your mental health. Perhaps even to your independent reasoning.

*Mind-Controlled*

On Inspiring Others

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So the some of you who lurk (and the some of you who read and are less obscured) may have seen that there have been people inspired by the DepressionFTW style of communication. I know I’ve seen at least one music video, blog post, movie, book and commercial that seems to allude to my work. And sometimes when you see people taking inspiration from each other, it can beg the question: does it matter who said what first?

Throughout time and history, I’d argue the answer has been yes for a variety of reasons. But, in the case of this blog, I think it is a little more nuanced, because using these tactics can help spread a message that will hopefully provide support to people who might not feel comfortable seeking advice directly from the source.

I think that the purpose of this blog has been to alleviate readers’ symptoms of depression. But there are many people who do not know they are depressed, do not want to admit they are depressed, or do not want to read about depression. If another content creator gets inspired and wants to help people deal with their condition, isn’t that a good thing? And if they just want to do a little shoutout? Isn’t it nice to feel heard?

The only thing is that this blog has a mission, and it’s sometimes a little heavy. I have loved the esoteric shoutouts and seeing people inspired by the counterintuitive negative self-talk of the blog. Just remember that like how I am responsible for how people are inspired by my work, people who reference this work to inspire others are also now a part of that chain of responsibility. And if you don’t know exactly why I was using certain techniques, just be cautious about when you take them on for your own writing.

But that’s such a downer! Why can’t people just write their hearts content and overshare all their inspired thoughts and feelings! And who says your writing is so unique? You were inspired by other bloggers so should you really act like such a king of depressed logic?

We’ve all got our own fears of inspiring something that goes counter to our values, and so it’s important to me to pass on the responsibility of preserving the message of DepressionFTW.

*Mind-Controlled*

Be the Change?

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So you know how Gandhi said “Be the change you wish to see in the world?” Or maybe that wasn’t him which you can read about here. But the point is someone, somewhere, seems to have said something like that and now you have to wonder: is that such a good idea?

Well sometimes you don’t really want to change, and you want the world to change, so this quote seems more accusatory than motivational. Like you’re being called out on being lazy because you don’t want to change something that’s wrong, but you still want other people to do it. Still, isn’t that kind of the point?

Because sometimes you’ve spent a lot of your time trying to conform to society’s expectations and assuming there’s something wrong with you because you’re “different” somehow, potentially including being impermissibly miserable. And at the end of it all, people considered that a fair thing to do, is call you out on your behavior. So why not turn it around on other people?

Make other people change in a way that makes you more capable of getting on with your life. Make them understand you and why you may or may not appreciate their intervening in your affairs. Expect other people to change, and in the process that will change the world, because you shouldn’t have to shoulder the burden of being perfect and not hypocritical. Hypocrisy is a privilege and even if it is confusing and not the ideal for structuring a society, there are plenty of people living that way so you shouldn’t be required to have perfect standards.

Now how do you impact other people so that you don’t have to do the changing? Maybe that will require some communication and that definitely sucks. Still, if you can seek out the understanding of other people, you can be rewarded by adapted expectations. And sometimes people will even reform their behavior because they didn’t realize they were having such a detrimental impact. You can change the world, even if you stay the same. Sometimes you are the philosophical bulwark that other’s can morph their global understanding to include.

So you don’t really have to change to impact the world. It’s an interesting idea, but it puts too much emphasis on fitting into what other people are doing or at least expecting. Think it through, and make your decisions with care for the consequences, and then you can steer others to support your cause. Which is hopefully just and all.

*Mind-Controlled*

The Dangers of Conformity

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So you know how everyone knows that conformity is dangerous and homogenization could lead to the downfall of human kind? Oh is that a controversial argument…?

Conformity is a strange situation where somehow people in society know how to all be similar to each other and often seek to preserve a lot of that similarity throughout time and space. And yet there are times where anti-conformist behavior changes society, and then a new set of norms in society become the rule.

But what does that mean to you anyway? You’ve got your own decisions of when to conform or to resist being like other people and does it really matter what other people prefer to do in the same situation? Can’t you make the independent choice for yourself based on the unique situations you find yourself in? Go ahead and do that. Just watch out. You might still be conforming.

Because sometimes when you feel like you’re picking an option that makes you distinct or stand out, you’re actually falling into the frame of some trend or plan laid by someone else in society. And arguably everyone makes decisions that conform to the will of an outside person or people, so some of this is inevitable. Yet conformity can be a dangerous thing to do, and it pays to keep your wits about you.

You might conform to an unhealthy norm or to pseudoscience or just incomplete science. You might agree with people who are menacing or negative and seek to hurt others for reasons you don’t agree with. You might take on a behavior that seems safe because everyone is doing it, but then you realize it’s actually harmful. Basically conformity has its risks.

So you’ve got to watch out when you conform. Still, sometimes being similar to others creates a sense of culture or uniformity to a set of ideals. It’s not evidently all bad or all good. Just remember that when you conform you give power to that person, group, set of ideals etc. Make sure you mind what you lend your support to when you’re falling in line.

*Mind-Controlled*

Conform or Proform?

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So you know how sometimes you’re watching TV and the Twilight Zone comes on and it’s the episode where they’re making a commentary about conformity in a totalitarian society? You know that one plot line. Well actually all of the episodes are commenting on conformity in a totalitarian society, so to be more specific it’s this one with the pretty girl and the piggy people:

And this gets you to thinking: just how much should you conform to society’s expectations versus preserve your authentic self? Also is there truly some concept of “ideal” or “normal” that you should be aiming for, or is it all subjective bullshit created by people with power in society as a means of controlling the general population into a complacent, distracted horde?

When it comes to conformity, the answer is often that when you think of these other people do you need them to survive? Or maybe more like can you escape their control over your life in the first place? And if you do need them, or you can’t escape their influence, what do you need to do to interact with them, and who decided that was the case? Because as fun as it is to be an anti-conformist, it can be risky business. You might piss off someone powerful. You might piss off a group of people that control your life. You might get isolated or shunned because you don’t fit in like everyone else.

Now sometimes you don’t get much of a choice because your “anti-conformity” is truly a part of your default identity and modus operandi. Then you’ve usually got to find resources to defend yourself from people getting angry or frustrated with you, in contemporary society this is often in the form of sympathetic friends and family, mental health practitioners, topical non-profit organizations, and occasionally government institutions. Sometimes there are people or groups set up to watch the behavior of “trusted” professionals or powerful members of society and those can be useful when you need to make sure to stay safe as a neurodivergent individual.

Yet what about another possibility? That being that your unique way of thinking will cause people to re-evaluate the norms of society, or rethink certain rules. Maybe you’ll be creative enough to challenge a paradigm and come out on top morally, philosophically, or scientifically. And sometimes doesn’t it take acts of bravery and standing up to authority to truly “do the right thing” or make a breakthrough for human kind? Sure, just remember to stay safe. Sometimes people have been martyred to the forward momentum of civilization, and that’s not everyone’s dream, though of course it takes all kinds.

So if you want to anti-conform, or you feel you have no choice, do your best to do so safely and responsibly. Because arguably the world really does need more than just one concept of normal or one ideal to strive towards.

*Mind-Controlled*

Do It Your Self DepressionFTW Posting

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So you might be wondering: what does it take to make a DepressionFTW post? Well you’re in luck, because I am going to reveal my personal guidelines for how to write a post that embodies the spirit of DepressionFTW.

  • Remember, it’s less about giving advice and more about describing those oh so familiar thoughts that are associated with the downside of depression and then giving them a life of their own. Whether you agree with the depressed mindset or want to disprove it, it’s okay to embrace these contradictions and even disagree with some parts of what you’re saying. But, you can’t lose sight of the true argument that you’re trying to convey and so some amount of consistency is key. (See what I just did there. That’s an example, it sure is.)

  • Culture, religion, and philosophy are a part of the backdrop of each post, but the centerpieces are the thought processes caused by the symptoms of depression. It’s not always easy to determine which thoughts are “depressed”, but sometimes you just know or remember that when you are/were dealing with your condition, you have/had a distinct belief or set of ideas that you want to deconstruct via a post.

  • Responsibility is a part of the DepressionFTW mentality, so certain behaviors that are considered understandable, are still not considered entirely acceptable. For example, violence has certain legal uses in contemporary societies around the world, and sometimes it is hard to know what the boundaries of the legitimate use of force are. Yet most people would agree that there should be some limitations on aggressive behavior. This blog tends to focus on avoiding causing long-term physical damage or harm to other living creatures or objects of value, or at least avoiding careless destruction. It’s important to remember the consequences of our actions that will occur in the moment and those that will continue to have an impact throughout time with potential chain reactions.

  • There are no “bad guys.” Just good guys and less good guys. Because the fundamental underlying mentality of this blog is that pretty much everyone has a mental health condition, it’s just that some people are similar enough in their collective “psychoses” to be considered “normal”. This idea is controversial when expressed certain ways, but is more widely accepted when described as “normal is a societal construct.” So even though some people are “depressed”, and they have to put up with all the insensitive assholes that don’t get them, those insensitive assholes might actually also have symptoms of depression, or some form of another mental health condition.

  • The speaking style is what gets through to your intended reader and also comes from your impression of your own experience of depression. This blog uses a lot of cursing and informal speaking styles because the author found that from her experience, she was capable of connecting to advice when it was said in a way that expressed the rougher side of communication, but still ultimately delivered affirmations. It’s like when you say “this really sucks, but it’s also really cool” as opposed to leading with the positive information and ending on a negative note.

  • Lastly, a few fun stylistic elements are: 1) I like to keep it to six paragraphs most of the time. There’s essentially a “thesis” statement, but actually I enjoy the freedom of doing a free-write so rather than seeing the first paragraph as something to prove, it’s more like a theme to guide the subsequent sections. 2) I like the conversational style of beginning the introductory and concluding paragraphs with “so” or “so you know”. It’s kind of a way of saying “am I right?” to every person reading. 3) I think it’s fun to come up with titles that are a play on a idiom or common sense. It is also okay to just say what you want. The title is usually thematically tied to the topics of the article.

That’s how the magic happens! I’ve got a few more tricks up my sleeve, and yet with these guidelines you can write your own DepressionFTW-style post and express all the essay rants that you’ve been drafting in your own mind. If you’d like to share, please feel free to go ahead in the comments. You never know who you might inspire.

*Mind-Controlled*

Move On? Maybe Not

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So you know how people sometimes tell you to move on? Or not to dwell on the past? Or best yet to “just get over it”? That’s so fucking dumb.

First off, there’s trauma which means you can’t just let stuff go because it’s had a significant impact on your brain. And usually if you explained to someone that you were badly fucked up by something traumatic, those people wouldn’t be rudely telling you to forget about it, they’d be apologetically dripping with false sympathy. Or real sympathy. But it would be annoying either way.

Second off, even if something isn’t quite “trauma”, it can still be really hurtful. It can be a pivotal experience in your life that affected how you developed or became the person you are today. For better and for worse, there are incidents that shape us and is it really so wrong to stay focused on those moments?

Who is to decide which experiences we choose to focus on and which ones we forget about? When people tell us to “get over it” should we forget positive experiences too? Just get over all the moments that made us happy, sad, angry, and more? What about creating our personal identity? We have to base our self-concept off of some memories, somehow, and they might as well be the important ones even if they are sometimes negative.

Now someone is going to feel the need to point out that it’s not ALL negative memories you should move on from. No, it’s just the ones that they find annoying for you to be hyper-focused on. Because where do you draw the line? Doesn’t everyone get to decide which memories are important to them even if they are painful or bothersome for other people to be reminded of? Not to mention maybe the reason you can’t move on about something is because it still has a meaning for you that you haven’t deciphered yet.

So go ahead and stay mired in the muck of your depressed thoughts. Be obsessive, be stuck. Because you get to decide which experiences and memories are worth dwelling on, and you get to decide when you truly feel something is holding you back. When you’re ready to move on, you’ll be all the better for having given yourself the space to think through what was having an impact on you in the first place. And maybe you’ll never move forward to the imaginary better that society has tried to sell you on. It’s going to be your personal journey, so you determine your destination, your path, and your pace.

*Mind-Controlled*