So you know how guilt is delicious? How it may make you miserable but it’s still so much fun to shovel it down? And how when you lie around sick from your guilt, your responsibilities overwhelm you and drag you down into the sweet surrender of your depression?

Guilt is a fucking joke. Honestly. You feel guilty about this thing or that thing,  and then you’re so incapacitated by your depression that you can’t do anything to change the thing you feel guilty about. What bullshit. If you’re going to feel guilty about something, you might as well just not because then you have a hope of actually affecting your behavior or taking some action.

Ha. Not feel guilt.  Brilliant! Because this is the easiest thing in the world, right? It’s fucking impossible. Guilt is inevitable. Well, as long as you have a conscience, and statistically speaking, you likely do. You will always feel guilt for doing shitty things that you know you probably should not have done. That is how it’s supposed to work. Guilt has a proper place and in fact, it’s fucking necessary or everyone would be a selfish asshole all the time and nothing would ever get done.

It’s feeling guilt all the goddamned time that doesn’t make any sense. If you have something that you feel guilty about, or that you regret, then own up to yourself or to other people and then change your behavior accordingly. On the other hand, a certain amount of selfishness is guaranteed in life, and if you feel guilty about all of it, that doesn’t make you a better person, just a more miserable one.  Now, selfishness where you go around killing people or stealing their shit is still kind of just a little bit morally incorrigible, so maybe avoid that. Still, you can not live without taking up some resources, and without focusing on your responsibilities to yourself a.k.a. sleeping, and typically, to some of the people around you.

Life requires a certain amount of selfishness, and while it might make sense to feel sad about this in some sort of fit of cosmic self-awareness, there is no reason to feel guilty about it. It is simply inevitable that some part of your life must be focused on managing your life. But hey, you do get to choose that amount. If you want to spend some of your attention on things besides yourself and those around you, that’s just great. Go do that then.

So if you want to eat lots of guilt, do it at scheduled meal times. Ha ha metaphors. No, but really, do feel guilt when you’ve done something shitty. And when you need to do selfish things to live, like eat actual food, then fuck feeling guilty about that. Then again, it’s your guilt. Portion control as you see fit.