So you know how sometimes people die in horrifying ways? And this can come to overshadow the achievements and daily experiences of their lives?

Yeah the good news is that everything and everyone dies so this is a great equalizer in terms of everyone having an empty purposeless life. Why is that a good thing? Well so you don’t get jealous of all those special people of course!

And yet if we look at history as a linear narrative compiled from accounts around the world, we are faced with the fact that some people’s lives contribute to the advancement of society, and so not everyone’s life is equally purposeless. These movers and shakers can have an impact based on how they live their life, but also based on how they die and the causes they champion until their final moments.

This is a little scary because it means other people have to be traumatized by their martyrdom or by their punishment at the hands of another party. Sometimes an individual may be known as a special advocate like Mahatma Gandhi, and sometimes they are a member of a notable population, like the victims of Auschwitz. The common thread being that society remembers them in part because of the circumstances of their death.

And yet in these instances, it is important to dramatize history with regard to the ways that these people lived their lives. There is a message to be shared in not only the extraordinary communications of pivotal world leaders, but also in the common daily activities of special populations.

So you can see a person as more than their final moments, and remember to celebrate their life as well as their death. When it comes to seeing some lives as more worthwhile or well-lived, that’s a unique personal opinion even as, arguably, all lives are rendered empty and purposeless by the inevitable void.

*Mind-Controlled*

So you know how there are all these people throughout history who died poor, hungry, and penniless? Or they were assassinated? Or maybe killed by some authority? Not to mention all the diseases that wipe out swathes of humanity. And if you survive all that, your body slowly wears down until you can no longer function.

This all the begs the question… Is there really a good way to go? As humans a large amount of our efforts are spent on prolonging our life, and potentially having a more comfortable conclusion, but never forget the honest truth that death is always awful.

But wait you say! Death with Dignity! You heard it’s real in Oregon. You can’t beat successfully convincing people that it’s in everyone’s best interest for you to be able to die. And that’s just contemporary legal suicide. Throughout time and history people have found means of ending their life in a way that they decided.

Still, you’ve got to wonder if you’re looking a little too aggressively for the certainty of knowing how you’re going to go, rather than focusing on all the stuff that’s going on while you’re alive. Depression causes the mind to focus on certain topics, including those relating to death, and yet if you alleviate your symptoms of depression, you’ll find that your mind naturally occupies its time with other thoughts and stays focused on being alive.

Basically, it’s not supposed to be a struggle. Your mind naturally processes trauma and pain allowing you to consider your daily life. And instead of feeling comparative about your life or death in relation to other people, you remember that “everyone is a loser” and “everything and everyone dies.”

So you can spend your time being scared of death and how you’ll go, because that probably provides some critical thinking powers. And then you can resolve your symptoms of depression to the point where death is just a passing thought, and life is about all of the living stuff.

*Mind-Controlled*

So you know Zen right? It’s a deep concept from Buddhism, or more like a subsection of the religion, an entire philosophy and lifestyle. But this isn’t about Zen. This is about the weird stuff that you think is Zen when you’re depressed.

You know like there is no winning or losing and you should always be seeking to strive for a balanced outcome, but that balance almost always means you agreeing to something dreary.

And grey is the best color because it’s between black and white so you should make it your guiding philosophy to “be the grey.” Find that middle ground and embody it. Regardless of whether your selected self-representation is preferable by your or anyone else’s standards.

Or maybe it’s that meditation is the thing to do and you should be capable of escaping the negative thoughts that fill your mind through spending time doing nothing but sitting and breathing.

And you should go leave all your possessions and live a life of austere simplicity, and rely on just the basics for survival. Learn how to live off the earth and all that. (Although probably do not eat unfamiliar mushrooms if you do.)

So is any of this Zen? Tangentially, in some form, it might be related. Yet you may have had some thoughts akin to these or other philosophical concepts that seem deep, but are somehow not quite helpful. Whether the original principles will really be helpful to you is important to consider, but yet another level of analysis is whether the derivatives of these thoughts are understood well enough or whether a partial comprehension is detrimental to your mental health. Perhaps even to your independent reasoning.

*Mind-Controlled*

So you know how everyone knows that conformity is dangerous and homogenization could lead to the downfall of human kind? Oh is that a controversial argument…?

Conformity is a strange situation where somehow people in society know how to all be similar to each other and often seek to preserve a lot of that similarity throughout time and space. And yet there are times where anti-conformist behavior changes society, and then a new set of norms in society become the rule.

But what does that mean to you anyway? You’ve got your own decisions of when to conform or to resist being like other people and does it really matter what other people prefer to do in the same situation? Can’t you make the independent choice for yourself based on the unique situations you find yourself in? Go ahead and do that. Just watch out. You might still be conforming.

Because sometimes when you feel like you’re picking an option that makes you distinct or stand out, you’re actually falling into the frame of some trend or plan laid by someone else in society. And arguably everyone makes decisions that conform to the will of an outside person or people, so some of this is inevitable. Yet conformity can be a dangerous thing to do, and it pays to keep your wits about you.

You might conform to an unhealthy norm or to pseudoscience or just incomplete science. You might agree with people who are menacing or negative and seek to hurt others for reasons you don’t agree with. You might take on a behavior that seems safe because everyone is doing it, but then you realize it’s actually harmful. Basically conformity has its risks.

So you’ve got to watch out when you conform. Still, sometimes being similar to others creates a sense of culture or uniformity to a set of ideals. It’s not evidently all bad or all good. Just remember that when you conform you give power to that person, group, set of ideals etc. Make sure you mind what you lend your support to when you’re falling in line.

*Mind-Controlled*

So you know how people sometimes tell you to move on? Or not to dwell on the past? Or best yet to “just get over it”? That’s so fucking dumb.

First off, there’s trauma which means you can’t just let stuff go because it’s had a significant impact on your brain. And usually if you explained to someone that you were badly fucked up by something traumatic, those people wouldn’t be rudely telling you to forget about it, they’d be apologetically dripping with false sympathy. Or real sympathy. But it would be annoying either way.

Second off, even if something isn’t quite “trauma”, it can still be really hurtful. It can be a pivotal experience in your life that affected how you developed or became the person you are today. For better and for worse, there are incidents that shape us and is it really so wrong to stay focused on those moments?

Who is to decide which experiences we choose to focus on and which ones we forget about? When people tell us to “get over it” should we forget positive experiences too? Just get over all the moments that made us happy, sad, angry, and more? What about creating our personal identity? We have to base our self-concept off of some memories, somehow, and they might as well be the important ones even if they are sometimes negative.

Now someone is going to feel the need to point out that it’s not ALL negative memories you should move on from. No, it’s just the ones that they find annoying for you to be hyper-focused on. Because where do you draw the line? Doesn’t everyone get to decide which memories are important to them even if they are painful or bothersome for other people to be reminded of? Not to mention maybe the reason you can’t move on about something is because it still has a meaning for you that you haven’t deciphered yet.

So go ahead and stay mired in the muck of your depressed thoughts. Be obsessive, be stuck. Because you get to decide which experiences and memories are worth dwelling on, and you get to decide when you truly feel something is holding you back. When you’re ready to move on, you’ll be all the better for having given yourself the space to think through what was having an impact on you in the first place. And maybe you’ll never move forward to the imaginary better that society has tried to sell you on. It’s going to be your personal journey, so you determine your destination, your path, and your pace.

*Mind-Controlled*

So you know how another year is coming to an end, and everyone’s is preparing their plans for how to improve in the new year? And you’re caught between being glad that something new is happening to distract you from the perpetual boredom and pain of your condition, and being scared that you’ll actually have to make changes to your life?

It’s hard to decide to try new things or take on challenges when it feels like everything in the past is already perfect. -ly fucked. Perfectly fucked. And at times when you find that you should be looking forward sometimes it’s so tempting to just look back and dwell on your life history. Sometimes it is reassuring because as bad as it was, the past is over now, and barring time machines, you can’t actually change the past.

If you’re going to focus on what’s already happened, why not make an ethic of it? It’s a great time to think about what you’ve accomplished, and evaluate how much of it you truly feel you deserved. It’s a great time to think about the people in your life and how they’ve helped or hurt you. And it’s a great time of year to reflect on all of those dreams of what could be better, even if that does make you feel ungrateful.

You might think because calendars do control a vast part of our life, that it follows that we should worship the beginning of the year by marking it will all our plans to do better. Submit to the structure of external society and fall in line with the time-based programming of the overlords!

Okay or maybe you would rather say fuck it and just do whatever you want. And holidays, new years, and seasonal greetings bedamned, doing nothing is also a fantastic option. When all the world is celebrating, or thinking of ways to change society, it can be so wonderful to rebel your way into sullen apathy and lethargy.

So take a look at the past year and remember that there’s another one coming up. And then do more stuff? Or then do less stuff? It’s up to you as you’re dragged forward in time by the unrelenting laws of the universe.

*Mind-Controlled*

So you know how Disney et al. tells you to follow your heart and be true to you? That shit is a bad idea. Fake it forever.

Depression can sometimes cause your internal world to be filled with negativity and critical thoughts. Not to mention taboos and deconstructions of societal norms. It’s a lot. Still, what’s wrong with sharing your heart? What’s wrong with communicating about how unique you are? Or how boring you are for that matter?

Nothing. It’s other people that are the problem. They might judge you. They might see you as dangerous. They might form stereotypical impressions of you. And then in the case of the mental health system, they might institutionalize you, and/or make you take medicine. Because depression is typically at least in part defined by thoughts that are not considered on the metaphorical tableau of the “well adjusted.”

Would you deserve these reactions? Would it be the natural consequence of being a deviation from the norms of the less depressed? Is this really what would happen from you just following that advice and being honest about who you really are?

Well there’s also the possibility that you could find someone, or a group of people, who can provide support. And if you are prepared for the emotional weight of sharing your inner self with the world, there could be the reward of others understanding you better, and even embracing your perspective. You could even find that some of your thoughts are original as fuck, or really helpful.

So you know, maybe you just have to be cautious and set your own boundaries? If you find that being true to you privately is okay, go for it. If you want to take it public, that’s cool as well. Yet while it’s hard to feel forced to care about society’s limitations, there is often some need to rely on people outside of yourself, and so being truthful can be a delicate balancing act to make sure that you can follow your heart and still get what you need to survive.

*Mind-Controlled*