So you know how people sometimes try to make you feel better by reminding you of everything good in the world, like candy, the laughter of small children, and kittens snuggling with balls of yarn? And then you’re all like, but candy makes you fat, small children are fucking annoying, and kittens, though adorable, are also food for giant hawks.  Well, you win that argument. The world is awful.

There are people being killed all over the place, and sick from really shitty diseases. Remember when the Rwandan Genocide happened? No? Well that fucking sucked and there’s more of that murder shit going on all the time. Then again, why the fuck is that your problem?  You probably have more immediate things to focus on. You’re all depressed and miserable and can’t get your life together because you’re overwhelmed with being all depressed and miserable. Or maybe you’re doing okay, but you’re not at peak productivity because you have to spend half your energy covering up how fucking miserable you are. You are not in a position to go fix the world, so why the fuck focus on all of its problems?

Why? Because it’s better than focusing on your own problems. It makes you deep instead of pathetic. Or it just distracts you from the awful all around you. That sweet surrender to the overwhelming sense that nothing you do really matters in the larger scheme of things is fun. And you get to avoid responsibility for your own life by drowning it out in the big sadness of the world.

Warning: that shit is pointless. Life is not about what matters in the larger scheme of things, a.k.a. the awful world where everything is awful. Life is about the bullshit happening to you and the people you know, and the things you care about, a.k.a. your awful life where everything is awful. You can go around being miserable about what is happening in the world, but don’t forget all of the misery right in front of you in your own life.

Furthermore, while it may be selfish to focus on your own problems, who the fuck cares? If being selfish means you deal with your own problems first, then everyone should be more fucking selfish. Because is there anything more annoying than some hypocritical crusader running around the world trying to save everyone when they don’t take care of themselves or those who are closest to them? Yeah, maybe this. But not much else.

So fuck the world. Let it go be awful on its own . You worried about all the world’s awful? Fuck that. You can get to it later. Procrastinate the fuck out of that shit.  Take care of your shit, take care of the people you are responsible for’s shit, and then get around to whatever fucking else is left. There is enough awful right in front of you without needing to seek out all of the other bullshit out there.

So you know when people tell you to think positive, and you’re all like “Of course! How did I not think of that!” And then you get better and live happily ever after. No you don’t because that doesn’t fucking happen and being told to think positive is kind of the most useless piece of advice ever.

And ultimately, why think positive anyway? So what if you are miserable and shit. Is there something so wrong with that? Why is there a need to be happier in the first place? If you truly accept who you are, and be yourself, and fulfill every cliche, then isn’t depression  just a part of that personal identity shit? And yeah if you want to change, go ahead and do some personal development. And if you don’t, being miserable should be okay. Why the fuck not?

Negativity is fucking useful. It means that when everyone else is getting excited over something stupid, you know that its stupid. Now should something being stupid mean that you shouldn’t get excited about it. Eh, maybe not. Still, it gives you magical critical thinking powers where you notice everything that is wrong when everyone else is focused on how fucking awesome everything and everyone is. You know that there are problems and that is useful, even if your being depressed means you have no interest in fixing them.

Also sometimes negativity makes you nicer, which is good if being nice is your kind of thing. It makes you notice all the shitty things about people, and while you judge them about it and think they’re stupid, you judge yourself more and think that you’re even more stupid so it’s easier to handle other people’s shit. Plus you don’t think you deserve any better, so you’re willing to put up with other people’s assholery all the more.

Not to mention that being depressed makes you an egalitarian because you hate everyone equally! Including yourself, so you’re not even a hypocrite! Which is a lot more than can be said for the asshole telling you to think positive before he goes off and whines to his dick buddies about some small insult.

So think negative. There’s nothing wrong with it. If you want to stay down in your hole, stay down in your hole. That’s your decision, and it doesn’t matter what some positive fucker says, you get to make your own fucking decisions. And if you want to change, then there’s a lot of bullshit out there dedicated to helping you do that to. And if you want to go back and forth, enjoying the natural up and down cycle of life, or some shit like that, do that too. Be as miserable as you want. Because your life is about you, and you choose what you want to do with it.

You know when you think that you don’t have the right to feel upset because your life is perfect and you’re good at this or that, and you have so much to be thankful for, and that just makes it all worse because it means you’re a whiny, self-absorbed, ungrateful little bitch. Yeah, you know that?

Fuck that shit. Life is hard no matter what circumstances you are in. You can be ridiculously blessed and that doesn’t change the fact that when people yell at you, you feel like shit. Or that when you stub your toe, your toe fucking hurts. Or on a larger scale, that when you are depressed, you are depressed and everything is fucked.

So what if you are an ungrateful, whiny little bitch? So are non-depressed people, even if they’re not aware of it. Hating on yourself for being an ungrateful whiny, little bitch is pointless. It doesn’t change what you are, and it makes you feel even more like shit. Feel free to go ahead and do it anyway though because sometimes its entertaining in a self-loathing sort of way.

Life is hard because when you’re alive bad things happen to you. Whether they are small or large, they happen, and when you’re depressed they are all you see. You forget the good things. You forget the fucking boring but neutral things. You remember when people hurt you, and when you hurt them. So guess what, you could live a fucking perfect life with absolutely no mistakes and still be depressed. Because depression blocks out the good stuff, or makes it seem trivial.

Good stuff and bad stuff should have equal weight. Rationally, they are both the same. Depression makes bad stuff weigh more. Fuck that. That doesn’t make sense. Life is hard because bad things happen, and nothing changes that. But not only bad things happen. And even if the good things are temporary, they are still good and they have equal weight.

So fuck it. Wallow in self-pity if you want to. You’ve earned the right to feel miserable by being alive and having bad things happen. And the good things can still have their fair weight. Because they happen too.