So remember how you’re a manipulative asshole? And although sometimes you do decent things for people, it’s all only for your own benefit, and this makes you an evil dark soul with no hope of redemption?

Laaaazzzzyyyyy. That’s bullshit you tell yourself so that you don’t have to put the effort into the redeeming. Intense morality debates aside, calling yourself evil is a cop out. What makes you a jerk isn’t some intrinsic permanent characteristic, it’s that you do really assholish things and then tell yourself “It’s fine,” as opposed to telling yourself, “Hey, that was kind of a dick move. Maybe I want to reflect on that, and then not to do that.” Or “Maybe I want to reflect on that, and then do it some more because acting like a total dick is awesome!!!” You own your actions, so have at it, as long as you’re prepared for the consequences. Oh and okay with emulating the little fuckers who contributed to your depression in the first place.

And this may suck for you to hear, but the second you do things for other people, that makes you automatically a more “decent person.” Everyone is a selfish cunt. Actually. Like actually. It’s inevitable that we all end up doing things that are in our own self-interest because typically that’s what it takes to ensure base level survival. At times people break the pattern because they have other self-serving motives, like being all cool and heroic, or being all self-sacrificing for their family, or being a beautiful shiny martyr for their community, or just randomly happening on an action that isn’t totally shitty for other people. Damn. This was meant to talk about why people are always selfish assholes…

Guess that gets to the heart of it! People are often selfish assholes. And yet, they sometimes are less selfish, and sometimes, because they are fucking insane, they do selfless acts. These acts may come out of some self-serving impulse to be “special” in some way or another, and maybe you’ve done some of that. Or maybe you’ve done something decent because it made people think you were all cool, and then that image and representation benefitted you.

Wertever. Fact is you did something, and someone else benefitted. You’re just not as awful as you’d hope to be. Tragedy. Just because you do things for yourself, that doesn’t mean you’re the only one who gains, and often you can match it up with doing things for other people at the same time. Not to mention that if you’re really torn up about how you are a selfish asshole, that in itself is a sign of you wanting to be something else. Of you wanting to do more stuff that’s for you, and also more stuff that’s for other people too. Just that wanting is pretty decent. Think about it. If you really were completely selfish, you wouldn’t even notice the fact that you could be doing more for other people. And really, this means you should do even more for yourself. Because the more you can get a handle on your life and your shit, the more your misery is managed, and the more attention you’ll have for other shit, like doing stuff that is for other people in addition to yourself. And rescuing pandas. Never. Forget. Pandas.

So yeah you’re a selfy selfy selfyish person. And you do all these things only for yourself. You also do all these things that hurt other people. You also do all these things that help other people. Basically, you do quite a great deal of stuff, even when you don’t do very much at all. If you’re concerned about whether or not you’re selfless, focus on your self more. Figure out your head, and then find ways to do things that are about other people’s heads as well.