So you know how since everyone is unique and different, that means that no one can ever truly understand another person? And how you’re just so complicated that it’s frustrating when people pretend to get you? And especially, when they think that means they get to tell you how to deal with shit?

There’s kind of nothing more irritating than you telling someone that you’re depressed and them coming back with some “well everyone feels that way sometimes” or “you’re not alone” bullshit. Fuck that. Why would knowing that other people feel fucked up about similar shit make you feel any less fucked up about your shit? Because then you get to be “normal” or something? Why would it make you feel good to know that feeling like shit is the norm?

That being said, don’t be surprised if someone out there does get what you’re going through. There are people who are good listeners, and will actually hear you out in order to understand you. There are people who are magical empathizers, and can just sit next to you and get it. And there are people who have had similar shit happen to them, and have been depressed. The thing about all of these people is that they don’t need to say shit like “hey man I get what you’re going through,” or “it happens to the best of us,” because they actually do get what you’re going through, and know that when people say that shit, it’s really annoying. These people don’t get everything. Still, they do agree with you on some shit, and that’s something.

Now you may not have run into those people. Or you may have met people who aren’t quite there yet, and kind of get how to be supportive, but it’s hit or miss. Still, even if someone gets a sloppy understanding of what you’re saying, that’s valuable because it means they will know what things they do that are unhelpful, and maybe even what is helpful. You may not want to put in the effort to try and be understood, or you may even get a kick out of people not being able to figure you out. And that’s fine. But then don’t be surprised when they say annoying shit and go around glowing, thinking they’ve helped the poor depressive see the light.

Understanding is hard to get, but once you got it, you get to keep it forever. It may slip your mind, and you may think you’ve forgotten it, but you never do. And similarly, when other people come to understand you, that never goes away. Once someone recognizes your perspective, they will never be able to completely ignore it again. They may try to block it out, and may even succeed in the short term. Still, they will be changed. And it’s worth trying to get people to get what you’re going through, because then they will learn to stop hurting you, and start helping. And they will take that knowledge with them as they interact with more people who are depressed or have had similar challenges.

So yeah it’s really tiring to try to understand people or to try to be understood. And most of the time it seems like you get nowhere, and it’s not worth the effort. Still, when you get through- when you get the message across, and finally are heard, it means that you’ve really had an impact. And knowing that you have the ability to shape your surroundings even a little bit, makes all that trying worthwhile. So whether you’re the one trying to misunderstand someone, or trying to be misunderstood yourself, just keep going.