So you know how sometimes you are feeling better? And then you celebrate and have all the fun because you’re cured of your depression? But then some time later you feel your depression coming back and it’s even worse because you thought you were finally better?

Yeah. Bad news is you weren’t cured. Sorry. Good news is that what you felt when you were feeling better is a pretty good reminder that life can not suck. Actually, truly, really not suck. And that’s really important to know when the depression is back and trying to convince you that the world is an endless, eternal dark abyss.

The trick is: you really do need to remember those better moments in order to make long-term progress. You need to know what makes it worth resisting your depression. You need to make it clear to yourself that your depression is lying when it tells you that bad things weigh more than good things. You need to never forget that you have had times in your life when you felt that you were truly better.

Now, when you’ve had a good spell and then things take a turn for the worse, you might start to think “Well if everything goes to shit just when I think things are finally going well, then what’s the point?” The point is that just because sometimes your life is shit, that doesn’t mean that the good parts did not exist. Those memories and moments remain positive even if things get worse again later. It’s the depression that tells you that the good stuff is invalid. And it’s the depression that convinces you that you never really felt good, when in fact, you really fucking did. And the good stuff is worth the fight.

If you believe that you are cured, then you’ll probably feel bad if you start having trouble again. Rather than it being black or white, “cured” or “permanently fucked,” it’s useful to think of it as “healing” or “coping.” Healing from depression takes time and energy. Sometimes it’s all you can do just to cope. At times you will be doing better and at other times you will be doing worse. Sucks. Although, even when your ultimate goal is a nice stable grey, at least the blacks and whites can be interesting.

So you don’t need to worry if it turns out you’re not cured. The part of you that healed is still there. You just need to make more steps, keep track of each one, and don’t forget the ones you’ve taken. It’s not about being cured. It’s about remembering that you have healed in the past, can heal in the present, and will heal many more times in the future.