So you know how people are always all “How am I supposed to know something is wrong if you don’t tell me?” And how you trying to explain to them your depression is like trying to explain to a whale why humans love land so much?  And how then you just feel like you’re a really fucked up person who everyone judges and never fully understands?

Communication is a fucking bitch. It sucks. It just fucking sucks. You’re caught in a bind because when you try to explain, everything comes out wrong and you sound defensive or like you’re making excuses. And when you don’t explain then no one knows what the fuck is going on with you or what they can do to help. Then you spend your time struggling to get your point across or lapse into silence and resolve yourself to being a stoic.

Here’s the thing: you need to communicate. Yes, you can go live by yourself and never talk to anyone ever again. So if that works for you, go for it. Still, if you do choose to stay near people because you want company, or have responsibilities, or just want to live in a populated area, then you have to be able to get across what you want or need. You can do it in writing. You can do it in words. You can do it mime. As long as you have a way of interacting with other people, you’re in the clear.

If you’re depressed, then at some point you will probably want to communicate that. People will not understand why you need to sleep so much, or eat so much, or be sad so much, or be angry so much, or be busy so much, or be emotionless so much, or shit like that. They will not realize that all the billions of excuses or explanations that you give for things are really you saying: “I’m depressed and I’m trying to cope with that.” Know what will make them realize? If you fucking tell them.

Telling someone that you are depressed does not mean that they will understand it. That part sucks. People will make assumptions, or deny your depression, or be an asshole, or just not know how to handle it. You get the excellent task of reminding them that, although they do not fully understand, what you are saying is the truth, and you are doing your best to explain it. Maybe you’ll choose to help them understand what you are going through. The Internet can help with that. And maybe you will just throw it out there and let them figure it out. No matter what, once people know what you are going through they will have a different perspective.

So forget people and move to the wilderness. You can test out your survival skills. Oh you want to stay near people? Then find methods of communication and interaction that you find mildly less uncomfortable than all of the others. Don’t want to talk about your depression? Then don’t. Do want people to know what you’re going through, but don’t want to explain? Then tell them and leave it at that. Want to be understood? Then invest in helping other people to learn more about depression. Even a little bit more understanding can mean a lot more patience for you.