So you know how in the past you were always super springy or felt like velvet or just way better than you are now? And how no matter what you do there is no way you can measure up to all those epic sandcastles you built and archery things you did? And life will just keep getting worse from here because the present is a mess, and the future is a big amorphous blob of blah?

Wait, are you joking? The past was fucking weird. Do you remember what it was like to be 5 and feel like you’re falling apart when you get a splinter? Or 15 and have all this potential to be someone special but no control over your own life? Or 25 and have the potential and control, but absolutely no fucking clue what you’re doing? The past was just as miserable and not miserable as the present. The only thing that is different is your perspective on it, because, oh right! You’re depressed.

Your thinking that the past was always better than the present is just another way for your depression to make you feel like shit. And it doesn’t even make sense, because depression simultaneously makes you focus on all the worst things you have done or that have been done to you, which then also makes you feel like shit. Wait, that’s the present perfect. Grammar, what a fucking joke.

The past cannot be changed, and in that sense it is almost perfect. Something finished and complete, so you can’t fuck it up any more than you already have. Meanwhile the present is confusing, undefined, ambiguous and the future even more so. Still, even if you were happy in the past or doing well, that does not mean that the present is worse just because you are not happy or doing well. Similarly, if the past was miserable and everything was shit, that does not mean that the present is better.

The present is current. Everything you do right now has bearing on who you are and how you feel right now. The past doesn’t exist any more, so its impact is in affecting how you view the present moment. If you think your past self was awesome, then that’s just fucking great. That doesn’t mean you can’t be awesome right now too. If you think that you made lots of mistakes and you have a ton of regrets about things that you can’t go back and change, well fuck that. While you can’t change the past, presumably you’re still alive, so you can change the present.

So it turns out that your life hasn’t been perfect up until now. Surprise! Also, it probably won’t be going forward either. That sucks for you. On the other hand, you get to stop feeling like nothing you do will ever compare to what you have done, and feeling that who you are now is always worse than who you were. Every moment has its plusses and fuck ups, so you don’t need to keep looking behind you, because whether you want to or not, you’re always moving forward. Welcome to the shiny, new you.